DEAR SANTA (A WOODY WISHLIST)

 

 DEAR SANTA...

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know it's too late for this year, and we've both been busy (My wife and I moving, You and your Elves working), so consider this my shortened Wishlist for 2024. I realize some of this is beyond your control, but it never hurts to ask.

1. On the top of my list I would like you to permanently remove the number "1", not completely mind you, writing it down is okay, but I'd like it eliminated from being spoken.
2. While I'm asking, you may as well eliminate certain words put together as phrases, from being spoken as well (examples: "Window Licker", "Get off MY channel", etc.). Along with this I'd like you to limit how many times one person repeats "Your off frequency" (I think up to 6 times is a reasonable request).
3. I'd like for you or your chief elf to negotiate with Midland to bring the 79-290 back onto the market - under your watchful eyes.
   

     But don't half ass it like Midland did with the removable head of the unit. Much has been said about having a cable to remotely attach the head to the body, as many mobile ham radios have been doing for years. This could be done, but adding a cable for remote mounting of the head would require re-engineering the design because the volume, squelch, clarifier, and channel selector are on the main body, making it an expensive overhaul.

Permit me to suggest an alternative to all of the changes as they would most likely increase the overall size of the transceiver as well, which currently is pretty darn perfect as it is.  

My suggestion: Many complaints about mobile radios have to do with the ability (or lack of) to see the display under various lighting conditions. I think the Elf department for two-way radios could consult with their photographic counterpart section and borrow a feature that many digital cameras have had for years: An articulated screen that can be tilted up, down, and hinged on the left side to allow it to swing towards the driver, making it much easier to read, and safer for everyone else on the road because your eyes won't leave the road ahead of you as often, or as long. 

Expensive? Probably. But if you increase adjacent channel rejection, add a decent noise-blanker, and make the receiver less likely to be overloaded, you and your North Pole crew will have a product worth buying er, I mean dropping down the chimney and leaving under the tree for some lucky operator. 

In today's market there are many people spending $300+ for a CB radio that couldn't meet any of the criteria above. But if you and Midland come to terms, at the very least - an articulated screen would be a must have feature. 

 

 I've seen the photos of you reading letters from children, both young and young of heart, and I'm sure those reading glasses really help. Now take a look at the screen of a President McKinley -

 

Now imagine riding your sleigh and trying to read the frequency**. Do you let an elf steer while you put those reading glasses on the peer at it perilously?

Try it again, this time with the Midland -

 Lordy-Lordy, take those reading glasses off and relax. Channel number? Just press the FRQ button. That big frequency display is replaced by a just-as-big channel number.

I've been writing letters to you for years now. Some folk say I'm daft, or beating a dead horse, and maybe my mail has been sitting in the "Insufficient postage" bin all of these years, but I still can't help bringing up the Midland 79-290. 

The Grinch in me has some common sense advice for CB radio manufacturers overall:

• ** If a radio can't be expanded (as any currently made, legal-in-the-US-CB can't), just get rid of the tiny frequency display. After all, it's not even a real reading of how accurately on frequency you're on. It's just a game between the PLL chip and your channel selector. If you turn the channel selector to channel 19, the PLL chip says to itself "Hmm, the channel selector says 19 so I'd better put 27.185 on the screen" - IT IS USELESS. Do something else with that space: A larger S/RF meter, or even a modulation percentage meter! (uh-oh...I'm making to much sense now...😉)
  
• If you still want a frequency readout, then have a toggle button that switches from big channel number to big frequency readout.
• Quick making the microphones that come with the radio feel so cheap! I don't care how you do it. Glue a big freak'n heavy washer inside the back cover to give it some heft if you have to. I can tell you that the first thing a ham operator does when they get their radio is NOT looking for a replacement hand microphone.

Well Santa, I could expand my wishlist as well as grinch a lot more, but it's a week from Christmas 2023, which means you're too busy to read letters meant for next year, and as for me - it's time to go outside and mow the lawn (after all, I am in Texas).

73

Woody

 (and to all a good night)