Saturday, June 20, 2009


Oh, the lighter side of being a HAM, it takes your mind off of how much you've spent on equipment and how much more you still have to spend!!

Robin surprised me with a card this weekend, along with some jokes that she found on the Web. I thought "Wow!! She spent time on the Internet looking for jokes about HAM Radio - I GUESS SHE REALLY DOES LOVE ME"

Anyways, I'm not sure if they came from one or multiple sources, so I don't know who to give credit to, but here are a few of them:

  • One sign that you may be a "Problem-Ham" is when every morning at work you wonder..."Did I leave the soldering iron on?"

  • Another sign is when you book a hotel room, your decision is solely based on if you can put out an antenna and whether it's a good spot.


  • You're a ham if...when watching a movie that shows someone operating a radio, you will loudly and indignantly proclaim the inaccuracies in the portrayal. (ed. - "GUILTY, as charged" - 'Nuff Said)

  • You're a ham check a potential new car for rig and antenna mounting possibilities even before you take it for a test drive.

  • You're a ham...when you instinctively pull over and check your antennas each time before going through an area with a Low Clearance, even when you are the passenger in someone Else's car.

(I'm beginning to think this is one of THOSE quiz's you find in a magazine that will determine if you need some sort of medical treatment)


Jokes would not be complete without including swapfest's and EBay auctions!! In fact, many times I check EBay when I first wake up, because they're like the "Funny Pages". Let's start with EBay!!

  • "This one's a BEAUT!!!" - Translation: It looks pretty, therefore it must work because it is pretty.

  • "Power cord? What Power cord?" - Translation: if it doesn't have a power cord, it must run on batteries....but I'm sure it works!

  • "This is a really good CW rig" - Translation: It doesn't work on SSB

  • "This is a really good SSB rig" - Translation: It doesn't work on CW.

  • "It came from an estate sale with a huge amount of radios" - Translation: it doesn't work


  • "The transmitter is outstanding" - Translation: the receiver doesn't work

  • "It worked the last time I used it" - Translation: then it broke and I put in the closet for twenty years. (ed. - time heals all bad memories)

  • "I don't know if it works" - No translation needed here

  • "I'm selling it because I have two of them" - Translation: I'm getting rid of my parts rig

  • "You'd better buy it now before the sun comes up" - Translation: anything looks good under a flashlight beam.

  • "It doesn't need a VFO" - Translation: The rig drifts so bad, who needs one? (ed. - OH! can you say S-I-L-T-R-O-N-I-X ?)

  • "I Just re-tubed it" - Translation: I replaced all the tubes in the radio with tubes that fit in the sockets.

  • "You won't find another one like it" - Translation: This is the only one NOT in a land fill.

As you can tell, many of the EBay and Swapmeet jokes are interchangeable, with EBay having the edge in anonymity. You think you're buying from an old, seasoned ham op, when really you're buying from a little 'ol lady who knows nothing about them except what an ON/OFF switch is. Hope you enjoyed these as much as I did! So, for all of us "HAM" fathers, may the sunspots be many and the DX afar....



"STANDARD DISCLAIMER"This is my standard disclaimer regarding the selling of my radio collection. While the ad reads CB GAZETTE, it has nothing to do with me, and the while the "WE are selling" implies I'm on board with it, I'm not. She has the legal right to sell my stuff, however I am not involved and any complaints should not be directed to me, or, damage my honest reputation in the selling of radios. I'm not upset by the legal selling, just the inference that I am involved. End of Disclaimer

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